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Who will you fall in love with

More than 20 years ago, the psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. Let me explain.

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Subscriber active since. Certain factors make it more likely that someone will be smitten with you: if your personality is similar to theirs, if you share the same worldview, or even if you do something as simple as gesture a lot, for example. Ahead of Valentine's Day, we dug into years of psychological research to find those particular traits and behaviors. This is an update of an article written by Drake Baer for Tech Insider. A study found that men and women who make eco-friendly purchases are perceived as more desirable for long-term relationships, while those who make luxury purchases are perceived as more physically attractive and more desirable for short-term relationships. The study notes, "Compared to luxury purchasers, eco-friendly purchasers were ascribed greater warmth, competence, and good partner traits, but less physical appeal, and they were preferred for long-term but not short-term relationships.

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By Chelsea Whyte. Still, research has shed some light on what is happening in the brain when we do feel those first butterflies — and the amount of time it takes for people to fall in love.

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The average time for men to fall in love is 88 days, while those same feelings of true love take women days. Another dating site, Elite Singles, did a poll in and found that 61 per cent of women believe in love at first sightwhile 72 per cent of men do.

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These surveys focused on heterosexual relationships. Other types of relationships have been comparatively understudied, though a study of 38 lesbians found that, on average, they declared their love or commitment to a partner after six months.

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A Match. Neurologically speaking, the bonds we feel that we know as love are due to the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin, which activate the reward centre in our brain. These take a fraction of a second to reach the brain, and some studies have shown that just looking at a person you love can activate the same brain region that creates the feelings of euphoria associated with some drugs. You have to get to know them first.

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Psychologist Arthur Aron devised a set of questions that can accelerate this process and potentially help couples to fall in love quicker. With the rise of dating apps, particularly during the coronavirus pandemic lockdowns, people have been finding love without even being in the same place.

So maybe the length of time it takes to fall in love is simply about how quickly you can respond to text messages. How does love affect the brain?

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